In Asia, anything furry can be sold as a puppy (The Funny Side)
Friday - May 25, 2018 10:56 am ,
Category : WORLD
This columnist s daughter brought home a strange fuzzy creature that she said was a dog she was looking after to earn pocket money but I ve seen Gremlins Ghoulies Critters Troll Chucky et al. It s always the small innocent-looking things that rise up and kill you in the night.
Asia is relatively new to pet-ownership and so it s easy to claim that pretty much anything furry is a puppy -- skunks raccoons capybaras giant tarantulas wigs floor mops mouldy meat and certain types of deciduous shrubs.
A news report is circulating at the moment about a family in China s Yunnan province whose "puppy" grew up to be a 115-kilo bear. But regular readers of this column will know that this happens regularly in that country and I would be more surprised by a headline which said: "Puppy Sold As Puppy In China Actually Was One."
While waiting for my daughter s thing to slaughter my family I checked my email to find a dog-related news story sent in by a reader. A householder left his dog to guard his home when he went out. A burglar broke in and the dog simply followed the man around wagging his tail. The whole thing was captured on a security video which quickly went viral on the Internet.
This didn t surprise me at all. This columnist has an old dog who barks ferociously at family members but gives strangers a friendly licking.
A vet once told me that a dog s brain was the size of a walnut but that s an insult to walnuts. You read about some dogs being able to smell things on other planets but mine can t find a chunk of meat she s sitting on.
It was a good thing that the burglar incident happened in the United States. Housebreakers who enter homes in China to be jumped on by bottom-wagging grizzly bears with names like Rover and Buddy may find it an unpleasant surprise.
Some Chinese zoos exploit this unfamiliarity. In 2013 a zoo in the People s Park of Luohe Henan province displayed a suspiciously small creature in the enclosure labelled "African Lion". When visitors approached it started barking -- revealing itself to be a dog with its fur trimmed to look like a mane. The zoo s leopard was a fox and its wolf a mongrel.
Is your dog a bear? To know for sure just listen to it. Bears like married men communicate entirely by grunting. Dogs bark - but having travelled a lot this writer knows that they sound different depending on where you come from. Indonesians say hounds go: "guk-guk" (except in Bali where they go "kong-kong"). In Hindi it s "bow-bow" in Sinhala "buh-buh" and in Thai "hong-hong". Americans hear dog sounds as "woof-woof". I think I would give the prize for accuracy to the Chinese who claim dogs say "Houh! Houh!" and the least accurate to the British who hear hounds going: "Bow-wow".
Meanwhile my daughter s temporary dog-like thing spent the evening trying to gnaw on a large bone. Unfortunately it did not seem to realise that my left tibia was still in regular use.
Tonight this writer may have to replace it with a cunningly selected deciduous shrub.
(Nury Vittachi is an Asia-based frequent traveller. Send comments and ideas via his Facebook page)
--IANS nury/vm/ksk
Asia is relatively new to pet-ownership and so it s easy to claim that pretty much anything furry is a puppy -- skunks raccoons capybaras giant tarantulas wigs floor mops mouldy meat and certain types of deciduous shrubs.
A news report is circulating at the moment about a family in China s Yunnan province whose "puppy" grew up to be a 115-kilo bear. But regular readers of this column will know that this happens regularly in that country and I would be more surprised by a headline which said: "Puppy Sold As Puppy In China Actually Was One."
While waiting for my daughter s thing to slaughter my family I checked my email to find a dog-related news story sent in by a reader. A householder left his dog to guard his home when he went out. A burglar broke in and the dog simply followed the man around wagging his tail. The whole thing was captured on a security video which quickly went viral on the Internet.
This didn t surprise me at all. This columnist has an old dog who barks ferociously at family members but gives strangers a friendly licking.
A vet once told me that a dog s brain was the size of a walnut but that s an insult to walnuts. You read about some dogs being able to smell things on other planets but mine can t find a chunk of meat she s sitting on.
It was a good thing that the burglar incident happened in the United States. Housebreakers who enter homes in China to be jumped on by bottom-wagging grizzly bears with names like Rover and Buddy may find it an unpleasant surprise.
Some Chinese zoos exploit this unfamiliarity. In 2013 a zoo in the People s Park of Luohe Henan province displayed a suspiciously small creature in the enclosure labelled "African Lion". When visitors approached it started barking -- revealing itself to be a dog with its fur trimmed to look like a mane. The zoo s leopard was a fox and its wolf a mongrel.
Is your dog a bear? To know for sure just listen to it. Bears like married men communicate entirely by grunting. Dogs bark - but having travelled a lot this writer knows that they sound different depending on where you come from. Indonesians say hounds go: "guk-guk" (except in Bali where they go "kong-kong"). In Hindi it s "bow-bow" in Sinhala "buh-buh" and in Thai "hong-hong". Americans hear dog sounds as "woof-woof". I think I would give the prize for accuracy to the Chinese who claim dogs say "Houh! Houh!" and the least accurate to the British who hear hounds going: "Bow-wow".
Meanwhile my daughter s temporary dog-like thing spent the evening trying to gnaw on a large bone. Unfortunately it did not seem to realise that my left tibia was still in regular use.
Tonight this writer may have to replace it with a cunningly selected deciduous shrub.
(Nury Vittachi is an Asia-based frequent traveller. Send comments and ideas via his Facebook page)
--IANS nury/vm/ksk
